good friday

our cries at the death of Jesus were cries of indignation. of bitter sorrow over the injustice of a man deeply misunderstood. indignation over the dignity and pride of a human being brought low like a dog. rage over the inhumanity wrought against humanity.

just like i do now. i missed it. i would have missed it were i a follower then. and i miss it now. just like they did. understandably so. seeing through a glass darkly. as in a mirror, this mystery. 

a man tortured for a message that tipped religion on its' head. the swollen rage of a city. the offended pride of its' leaders. executed without fair trial. enemy of state. innocent as charged. a small band in hiding, barely breathing under heavy grief. the death of a friend. a son. a brother. swimming in sorrow and disillusionment. might prevailing over a dream. the strong crushing the innocent. ideals made victim to power.

i would have missed the power of the cross. the power of God laid down on behalf of all. of the secret waiting amidst the sorrow for the rising to come. that this was God prevailing over man. over power, might, and evil. 

this, the humanity of Jesus. surrendering, bending his will, laying down his very self, to walk headlong into slaughter. not just torture and execution like others throughout the centuries, but a closed heaven. the darkness of every human shadow heaped upon him. the ultimate separation from all that is good, and true, and love. from God himself. where the punishment required that animal blood be shed, now he ran red. caught in a trap by a kiss, but catching all in a greater "trap" to bring -- through this betrayal, redemption to all of humanity. 

this, the divinity of Jesus. facing the ugliest of human form -- spitting, jearing, whipping, flesh tearing, blood dripping, mocks and insults thrown like sticks and stones. and to this saying: Father, forgive them. they don't know what they're doing.  

justice on its' head. fairness unaccounted for. retribution unrendered. all flipped, turned upside-down in this monumental act of love that says to those souls behind the steely eyes and violent hands and screaming voices. my eyes, my hands, my voice, my soul: i love you. i made you. through your hate, your insults, your casting lots to take my clothes, through your hammering judgement against my call to new life, out of the darkness and into the deep, that reminds you of home and quivers your bones. through your attempts to blot me out to stop your own hearts from screaming, through my dying at your hands, I rise to give you LIFE.

death and redemption. redemption through death. by death. life. life through death. life through love. this love. this mystery. this violent crazy beautiful mystery. foolishness to some. lynchpin of faith for many. this mystery. that i believe but miss almost every time.