awkward american

so i'm back in the US. and apparently living overseas makes you a bit awkward by the time you return to your home country. or so i've learned. or or maybe it's just me. my alter-ego, "awkward jenny," has been alive and well for the past 10 days. 

several such moments involving strange encounters with Starbucks employees will illustrate my point:

Awkward Starbucks Moment #1: Minutes after landing in the US, I find myself standing at the coffee counter, eyes glowing and mouth drooling. To the plump and perky barista I pronounce my request - slowly enunciating every syllable: "can I have a SiX-tEEN Ounce Cinn-a-mon Dole-chay lah-tay...with soOYYy Millllk pleease." 

She graciously doesn't skip a beat and rattles off a question in a language my ears weren't expecting to hear, so quickly that I didn't see it coming and totally missed it. "I'm sorry," I say - "what was that???" ..... "Do you want that for here, or to go?" she says a little slower.  

Apparently English is many people's first language here. And supposedly it's mine too...

Awkard Starbucks Moment #2: Day 3 home, I meet a friend for a morning coffee before she heads to work. Again I'm standing at that dang counter. This time it's a pumpkin spice latte. I order in my-first-language-really-is-English speed. And then she says: "that's going to be $5.15"

Reflexively, without a second thought, I lean my frame forward on my elbows towards the register - eyebrows furled and gasp "wWWHAATT!!???" while internally calculating how many meals that can go for in Cambodia .... "Five dollars and fifteen cents" she said decidedly. My social filter at this point has apparently gone missing and is still finding it's way back to me, so I continue to stare at her stunned and respond in my disgusted voice "WHYY!!!??" 

Amidst the mathematical breakdown of soy milk and syrups my filter returns and I get out of her personal cashier space, gulp, and open up my wallet to pull out this infamous five.fifteen. Which is trickier than it sounds for a girl who hasn't touched coins in 12 months and now has a small collection going from several international airport purchases on the way home. 

Embarrased at my awkward outburst and a bit desperate to pay her and get out of line quickly, I slap down a $5 bill and fumble through my wallet for the change... then proceed to hand her several Korean coins before finally finding a nickel and dime.

Apparently things cost lots of money here. And it's easier to just swipe your card. 

Can we say "awkward american?"