hope for the cage-places

in Cambodia, sitting at the entrances of temples and famous places sometimes there are birdcages, full of little sparrows or finch-like creatures. someone, some entrepreneurial person has caught them, placed them all together in a wire mesh container, where they flap their wings in protest.

they are for sale, these birds. for a small price -- even cheaper if you bargain -- you can buy one. buy one to set it free. put your hands out to scoop it up, hold it up to the sky and watch it fly away.

such a sweet sentiment, a small heroic gesture for the passing tourist. "i freed a bird."

except that sometimes, within a few minutes, right after this do-gooder has departed, some of these birds fly back. after a short circling overhead, some will swoop right back into the cage, like there's no place they would rather be. 

i think they must have been there awhile, to have forgotten so much. forgotten how to fly. forgotten that they are birds -- creatures made to roam the skies and build their nests in trees. gotten so mixed up inside that the fencing around them became the normal backdrop to this utterly abnormal and stifling existence. 


birds, the symbol of freedom. all crammed in a tiny wire cage. 

it's sad to me. and reminds me of so many things. reminds me of myself -- of the dark places that i have come from but return to sometimes when i am anxious and afraid. reminds me of people i know and love -- and of the cages and lies i have watched deceive and nearly destroy them. 

it reminds me of the israelites who begged to go back to Egypt after a divine rescue from over 400 years of slavery there, believing that that old familiar place was better than the desert they had to cross before they could get to the abundance on the other side. such a picture of the human story...

and it reminds me of some of the women and girls. it's the hard part. the part of the story no one likes to tell. that's difficult to tell. that's so sad and confusing to work out. that some who are rescued from the mental, physical, and emotional abuses of sex trafficking go back.

Let me just say: there are SO MANY stories of freedom and recovery, of women empowered to be strong and safe. girls learning how to be mothers and run cafes, becoming tailors and hairdressers and leaders. telling their stories to raise awareness and raising their voices on behalf of those who cannot. it is powerful to witness the lives of these women, to see their strength, resiliency, guts, and the hard work they've invested into getting their lives back and starting anew.

and there are also women who don't make it out so well, even after they are rescued, and even after months and sometimes years of counseling and exceptional support and care...

the reasons are complex. poverty, debt, family pressure, demand, and social stigmas are among them, along with pages more to explain the context of sex trafficking in Cambodia. but this happens the world over too. it's all of those reasons, and it's deeper than that, this cage that creeps around her soul and traps her in this dark page. 

this cage welded together by the lust and greed of others. in a world where some have power and many do not. where objectifying leads to dehumanizing, which leads to commodifying and ultimately destroying. where worth equals money and beauty is in her face and the curves of her skin. where she is a purchase, to be bought and sold, and sold again, and then again. this cage made of deep shame and worthlessness, that has so deeply maligned her sense of identity and deprived her of dignity.

it's hard to believe the truth. i think it's hard for all of us, and especially for her -- when the nature of her violation so directly warps and twists her ability to believe this: 

you are beautiful and valuable and of deep worth, just because you are you. nothing will ever change this. you are unconditionally loved by God. you belong. 

i don't even believe this for myself most of the time. and i can get lost in the hopelessness of it all. yet i remember one thing...

i remember the words of an abused woman of ancient times, a slave commodified for her ability to bear children, for the fertility of her womb. who was raped and made to birth a child for her master -- a religious patriarch and father of the Jewish and Christian faiths no less. and then, further despised and ill-treated, and while fleeing for her life, God met her in her most desperate desert place. her words speak volumes to my soul, wrap around my heart like a prayer that i lift up to heaven along with the faces of names of these women i have seen, who are back in their dark places:

"You are a God who sees...Truly HERE I have seen him who looks after me." (Genesis 6:13)

God, let it be. 

He is everywhere...

in the desert and the cage places too.

in the deepest darkness 

and most painful shadows...

He is there. He SEES. 

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God." (Luke 12:6)